Forgiveness is a word we hear often and we may think it is very easy to forgive. If a friend crosses us or a family member apologizes we know how to forgive them. We understand that they are trying their best just like we are. However, it can be difficult to think about how to forgive yourself for any wrongdoings you have done.
Especially if some of the actions you have taken in the past are in your mind unforgivable. Being under the influence changes our state of mind. It alters how we perceive the world and it changes how we would normally behave. When we get sober all the memories of the things we did come flooding back like a tidal wave. This can be hard on our psyche.
There are a few steps we can follow to learn how to forgive ourselves and accept ourselves for who we truly are.
- Spend time with your emotions. One of the main reasons we use substances is to avoid feeling at all. We want to experience the numbness that drugs and alcohol provide. When we aren’t under the influence we start to feel again. Don’t avoid it. Lean into it and spend time with those emotions, allow them to flood through, and try to not have judgments about it.
- Acknowledge your mistake, however, don’t beat yourself up. It is not helpful to beat yourself up for making mistakes. If you do it reinforces negative self-talk which causes you to make the same or other mistakes because of the self-depreciation you experience as a result. Say it out loud and be aware of what it is.
- Instead of getting angry at yourself over making the mistake, see it as a learning lesson. You realize now that what you thought was a good idea, maybe it wasn’t. Next time change an aspect of it or come up with a new idea entirely.
- If the mistake is too overwhelming for you, put it away. It is important to go to psychotherapy and open parts of yourself that you are unwilling to look at. However, it is just as important to know when to put those feelings away if it becomes too much. It is a process and it takes time.
- Shut your negative self-talk down. When you “inner critic” starts chatting away, replace that talk with positive talk. Sometimes saying it out loud is necessary. Whatever it takes to help you realize that you are a human being who is perfect, whole, and complete. You are just trying your best and strive for better next time.
Avalon Malibu has a lot of practices that can help you regain confidence and become a better you. The professionals there understand it is a process and a journey; they are equipped to help you learn how to forgive yourself. Self-love is a journey not a destination. Call Avalon Malibu today if you or a loved one is suffering at (844)-857-5992.
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