How To Say “No” With Confidence That Feels Good

Highest Standards, Nationally Recognized:

IT's Ok to Say No

Honesty is being free of insincerity and deceit. Sometimes, when we think we are really being honest with others, we are not being sincere with ourselves. Other times, when we think we are being clear with ourselves, we are deceiving others. What we consider to be honesty might be an exaggeration, elaboration, or total evasion of the truth. We want to give others the honest truth but we don’t want to be honest with ourselves. Before we can be honest with others in order to stick up for ourselves, set a boundary, or define our needs and wants, we have to be honest with ourselves. Where are we coming from? What are we triggered by? What do we honestly need? Are we honestly aware of what we need or what we want? We have to first get a gauge on what is going on within us before we can start responding to what is going on outside of us.

Be respectful of other’s wants, needs, and opinions

The fire of self-confidence and self-assurance can burn out. After spending so many years of our lives feeling sorry for ourselves, never sticking up for ourselves, and taking the heat from other people, we are roaring to get going on saying “no” and laying down the ubiquitous boundaries. Our boundaries come from self-confidence, which is built out of self-respect. Gaining respect for the self also includes gaining respect for others. Saying “no” gets done in a dignified, respectful manner. By having respect for the needs, wants, and opinions of others, you say “no” with dignity which means you in turn earn respect for yourself.

Don’t be afraid to make mistakes

Too often we hesitate from saying “no” because we are afraid we will miss out on something. We might also refrain from saying “no” due to fears of the reaction our boundaries will receive. Many of us experience trauma in our lives, some of which we associate with our worth, our strength,and our ability to set healthy boundaries. Part of recovering is resiliency- realizing that whatever happens in life, what ever mistakes may arise out of our choice, we have the power to survive it.


We know that you have the power to recover. At Avalon By The Sea, we provide powerful, trusted programs with powerful, trusted results. A leader in residential care for primary mental health, Avalon By The Sea offers unparalleled dual diagnosis treatment as well. For a confidential assessment and more information, call us today: 888-958-7511

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