As stated in a book titled: Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change, written by Jeffrey Foote, Carrie Wilkens, and Nicole Kosanke with Stephanie Higgs,
“Recognizing that for most people change is more like learning to read than getting hit on the head with an apple, you’ll be less likely to blame a loved one for being ‘bad at it’ in the beginning or despair when he has bad days later on…. Change isn’t magic. It does not take a miracle. Change takes thought, planning, and work, and reasons to do something different. You can help make it worth it for your loved one, by helping to create an environment in which positive behavior is rewarded by your affection, presence, collaboration, and other forms of reinforcement, while negative behavior is shut out in the cold.”
Living with someone who has an addiction can be challenging, especially if we do not know what to expect or how to handle the situation. Doing research and seeking help are important to do both before your loved one moves in and after they’ve moved in. Candance Plattor, registered clinical counselor who has recovered from addiction to opioids, marijuana, and alcohol, notes 5 key things that need to happen to love yourself and the person with the addiction:
- Understand the true nature of addiction.
- Face the truth, even if you don’t want to.
- See your own behavior more clearly.
- Set boundaries with your loved one when they ask for something that will only hurt them – or you – further.
- Look after yourself.
Everyday Health states that family members must realize they are “powerless over the person with the addiction and understand that what’s most important for them is to find help for themselves”. While providing your loved one with money, resources, and time may feel beneficial, one of the best things you can do for your loved one is help them get into a treatment center. Many times, our loved ones may say they don’t need treatment or they are getting better when they really aren’t. Be willing to face the reality of the situation and seek help.
For information on treatment, call us today at 888-958-7511. Avalon Malibu is a mental health and addiction recovery treatment center located in California. Our licensed, experienced health care team truly cares about each person’s success in recovery, and we will work with individuals on developing tools to work through and overcome their addiction. Call us today for a consultation.