The way you speak to and about yourself can either lead you closer to your goals or further away from them. Learning what “core self-talk” is, what yours sounds like, how it makes you feel, and how to shift it is essential to cultivating self-acceptance and self-confidence.
What Is Core Self-Talk?
Much of core self-talk is created from the ways in which caregivers and who you were closest with growing up talked to you and about themselves. This self-talk may also be rooted in the voice of your inner critic, which can cause you to be hypervigilant in your relationship with both yourself and others. Negative core-self talk is associated with feelings of never being good enough, low self-worth, and that you must be “perfect” to be loved.
However, thanks to neuroplasticity, which is the brain’s ability to rewire itself to think new thoughts, you can take steps that lead to rewiring your brain so that it works for you instead of against you.
Examining Your Core Self-Talk
Becoming aware of the stories you tell yourself and viewing them as neutral and with non-judgment is the first step to shifting how you talk to yourself.
Something that may help you become aware of what your core self-talk sounds like is to examine the main negative beliefs and stories you often find yourself repeating. These can lead to feelings of self-judgment and disempowerment.
Questions to ask yourself in this process include:
- What does my core self-talk sound like?
- What do I believe to be true about myself?
- Are these stories and beliefs actually mine? If not, what core self-talk is mine, and which do I want to cultivate?
The Practice of Gentle Noticing
Approaching your core self-talk with compassion, acceptance, neutrality, and curiosity is how you can begin externalizing it from your true self and release it as an identity.
When an old belief that is trying to keep you safe from potential harm and judgment comes up, invite yourself to view these old stories with neutrality. This will help you accept that this negative self-talk is not good or bad, nor is it you. This will allow you to accept the thought for what it is and offer it compassion for trying to keep you safe.
Rewriting Your Narrative
To rewire your brain, you must begin inserting new beliefs and stories in place of old ones that come up when you notice them.
The next time an old belief or story rooted in self-sabotage, self-judgment, and self-criticism emerges, notice it for what it is (a limiting belief trying to keep you safe) and insert a new belief rooted in self-acceptance and compassion.
Our core self-talk can either sabotage our relationships with ourselves or nurture them. At Avalon Malibu, we recognize how empowering and destabilizing the process of shifting your core self-talk can be and where psychotherapy can be helpful. Our team is ready to meet you where you are with acceptance and help you reach the goals you have through self-acceptance, rewiring limiting beliefs, and cultivating confidence. Call Avalon Malibu today at (844) 857-5992 to find a treatment option that makes sense for you.