Making Friends With Perfectionism

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Making Friends With Perfectionism

If you are reading this, perhaps perfectionism is wreaking havoc on your life, relationships, and mental wellness. Maybe it is even the part of you that you tend to judge most because you dislike the way it makes you feel and what it forces you to do.

It is exhausting to feel like you have to be perfect in every area of life. It is just as exhausting to resist parts of yourself that long to be noticed and understood the most.

Instead of shaming the part of yourself that feels the pressure to be perfect, what if you began to befriend this part of yourself?

Understanding Perfectionism

Step one to befriending perfectionism is getting to know this part of you. This could include asking this part of yourself questions with the intention of compassion, curiosity, and acceptance, such as:

Where do you come from? 

How old are you? 

Where do you live inside of me? 

What do you want and need me to know? 

How can I take care of you? 

Getting to know the elements of yourself that were (often) formed in childhood in order to keep you safe and protected from judgment and harm is a powerful way to begin to allow these parts of yourself a seat at the table without making them represent something that is wrong with you.

Accepting Perfectionism

Allowing perfectionism a seat at the table may mean having the awareness that although perfectionism is present, you do not have to abide by its rules.

While permitting yourself to not be perfect in your life and relationships, you can still accept perfectionism as still being present. What if both perfectionism, as a protective part of you, and your authentic self who lives beneath the mask of perfection got to coexist and dance in tandem?

What if your ability to make decisions in alignment with your authentic self and true desires were not dependent on the absence of perfectionism but present in the face of it?

Ultimately, through understanding perfectionism and allowing it a seat at the table, you can begin to transform and heal this part of yourself. By doing so, you can live a more integrated, whole, and fulfilling life.

The causes of your perfectionism can give you essential information about what you need to heal on your journey to experiencing holistic wellness. However, perfectionism can also be one of the most challenging parts of you to befriend and begin to let go of. At Avalon Malibu, we recognize how difficult self-acceptance can be and are here to support you as you learn to accept certain aspects of yourself. Whether through individual therapy, learning healthy coping skills, or cultivating self-compassion, we can help you heal. Call us today at (844) 857-5992.

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