How Can I Get Over Someone Cheating On Me?

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Many people seek treatment in the aftermath of a relationship ending. Being cheated on, being abandoned, or simply ending a relationship is enough to bring awareness that something needs to change. Restoring their hearts, minds, and spirits, the people who act on their courage to better themselves and heal find answers in their spirit to the problems in their relationships. Getting through a heartbreak is challenging. Working out a relationship after cheating is also challenging. Relationship counseling to navigate the tumultuous experience of infidelity  in treatment offers both partners a safe space to honestly communicate their feelings, seek professional advice, and practice new forms of communication. Relationships can come back together through treatment. Sometimes, unfortunately, relationships can end. When relationships end in treatment, they can end more amicably and end with the partner in treatment being clinically supported to get through the breakup.

Infidelity, or cheating, is heartbreaking. One may never fully “get over it” until they fully get through it. One of the primary lessons taught in recovery is that there is no “getting over” anything. Instead, there are many ways to work through the feelings. Feeling feelings, taking responsibility for emotions, managing them safely- are all the tools and abilities one develops in treatment. Coping with cheating is similar to coping with grief and loss because in many ways when a partner cheats, there is a loss- a loss of trust, a lost of respect, and a loss of identity within the relationship. Grief and loss go through many stages including anger, denial, bargaining, and more. One day, there is acceptance. A first step to acceptance is understanding.

Asking, if not demanding, why is common when a partner finds out that their other partner has been unfaithful. Partners want to know why their partner did it, why they weren’t good enough, and many other answers. The unfaithful partner themselves may not know. There are many reasons why someone cheats. Ultimately the answer is, because they chose to. Here are some things to understand about cheating:

  • Cheating is a form of self-sabotage which upsets an otherwise healthy relationship
  • Cheating is not always done with the intention of hurting another person
  • Cheating is not equal to sex addiction. While it is possible that someone who cheats is addicted to sex, sexual activity, and sexual behavior, most often someone is unable to remain faithful in a relationship. The two are different.
  • Cheating does not happen because someone doesn’t get their needs met.
  • Cheating happens because someone doesn’t know how to meet their own needs.


It’s okay to take time for yourself to heal. Avalon By The Sea offers a sanctuary of serenity and tranquility with our gorgeous homes settled on our lush property atop the iconic Malibu, California cliffside. Providing mental health and substance abuse treatment, our programs are open to all who are seeking to heal, mind, body, and spirit.

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