Boundaries are a foreign concept to many people. What does it mean to set healthy boundaries in your relationships with other people? Isn’t it a bit awkward to say this is what can be and this is what can’t be, don’t cross the line? If boundaries were communicated with 100% transparency and authenticity, the world would be a funny place. We’d spend a lot of time hearing about the wealth of life experiences which brought someone to decide that this was a healthy boundary they needed to set in their lives. Boundaries can be specific to the individual and their unique needs. Some boundaries are more general and can be applied to anyone in any relationship.
Setting healthy boundaries isn’t hard to do. The awkward blatant communication isn’t necessary. Instead, boundaries are usually set through actions. Ceasing to enable certain behaviors, communicating one’s needs in a compromise, and saying “no” are classic boundaries. It isn’t hard to set boundaries, but it can be uncomfortable. For that reason, it is important to practice setting boundaries. Overtime, creating and setting healthy boundaries becomes a natural part of the recovery process.
Here are three important boundaries to understand and set:
“No”. Saying no is automatically setting poignant and descriptive two letter boundary. When you say no, you clearly define something about you that you don’t like, aren’t willing to do, or a level you aren’t willing to go to.
Shaking It Off. Letting people get to you for any kind of reason is an invasion of your own boundaries. Inside your world, there is peace and serenity. When you let a resentment, anger, guilt, shame, or any other kind of toxic attachment to another person enter and disrupt your internal sanctuary, you are violating a boundary. Your space, your thoughts, and your feelings are for you. Shaking it off and letting it go is a way you maintain healthy boundaries. What happens with or to someone else ends where you begin. The spaces have a healthy difference.
Not Your Problem. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you lose your sense of empathy or your ability to connect with others. It simply means you don’t get yourself lost in other people and vice versa. Boundaries means there is a clear distinction of who you are and who someone else is.
Recovery is about setting new boundaries which separate you from old, toxic behaviors which harmed your ability to happily live your life. Avalon Malibu strives to provide trusted programs which produce total healing in mind, body, and spirit. For a confidential assessment and more information on our programs, call 1 888-958-7511.
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