Ghosting is a modern term for a peculiar occasion which happens in dating. Someone who “ghosts” someone else completely cuts off communication without warning. Often, to the person who is being “ghosted” it can feel like there is also no cause for the sudden disappearance. Ghosting could be a symptom of a mental health condition which complicates the ability to maintain healthy relationships.
Mental Illness deeply fears invalidation
Some mental health conditions have a deep issue with the perceived offense of invalidation. Invalidation is a way of making someone feel as though they are not valid to you, or as a person. People who have a mental illness which distorts their perception of self and their ego can take real or perceived signals of invalidation very personally and feel the need to retaliate in response. Ghosting is the way that they hurt you while simultaneously protecting themselves, though they hurt themselves in the process.
Mental Illness deeply fears abandonment
Abandonment issues can inspire long term mental health issues of all kinds to cope with the intense fear of being abandoned, neglected, or rejected. Trauma from childhood and adolescence can cause these deep fears of abandonment which do not go away until they are thoroughly confronted in therapy. Instead of having to face abandonment, someone who has to avoid any threat of abandonment will abandon the situation entirely, causing them to ghost the person they are seeing.
Mental Illness creates fact from feeling
Delusional thinking run entirely on feeling is a common experience in many different mental illnesses. Rather than see an objective fact, they only see their feelings and run entirely on how they feel. The feelings of abandonment and the feelings of invalidation discard the necessity of knowing whether or not they are real or perceived. All that matters is that the person feeling them feels them and that is reality enough. They act on their feelings instead of acting on a conversation or understanding what is really going on. That is why they turn to ghosting instead of having an emotionally honest conversation.
Mental Illness takes everything personally
Mental health conditions can create a heightened sensitivity to the actions- real or perceived- from others. Taking things personally is also acting on feelings because someone feels that what they have experienced is personal. They take feelings of abandonment and feelings of invalidation very personally. Coping with a personal offense is not easy for people with mental health conditions because coping with the pain underneath them- like feelings of abandonment and invalidation- is not easy for them. To avoid the personal commentary which could trigger feelings of low-self worth, they will turn to ghosting to eliminate the relationship entirely.
Difficulty maintaining emotions and perception can be a form of mental illness. If you believe you might be struggling with underlying issues which haven’t been addressed, help is available. You will feel better again. Call Avalon By The Sea for information on our residential treatment programs for primary mental health care, one of the only certified programs in California. For a confidential assessment and more information, call us today: 888-958-7511