The way control works is strange—grasping for control is often the very thing that makes you feel as if you do not have control. You might underestimate the amount of control you have in any given situation. While it can be helpful to focus on things that are in your control, such as taking actions that align with your goals and desires, grasping for too much control can cause anxiety rather than inner peace and stability.
Control Can Be Helpful
Control sometimes gets a bad reputation. As unhelpful as it can be, it can be helpful if you are within your individual bounds with an amount of control that is healthy and is not causing you to over-function. What this level of control looks like is different for everyone. It is up to you to decide how much control allows you to simply give your life structure, versus how much is going overboard.
For instance, an action you can control is choosing to let go of too much control.
Releasing What You Can’t Control
Releasing control can be confusing because it is not an “active” action, but more of a “passive” action, meaning it is something you choose in intangible ways. Common ways you might try to find control are through trying to change the past and predict the future. You may also try to control the thoughts, actions, opinions, and emotions of not only yourself but also others.
Before releasing control can happen, you must understand what you are trying to control and what happens in your body and mind when you are grasping for control. Perhaps your body becomes tight and contracted with fists clenched and your mind running 100 scenarios a second. What control looks and feels like for everyone is different, but you can learn to recognize your signs of trying to control too much.
Anchoring Into Acceptance
In place of control, you can lean into acceptance, which gives you the ability to release control even if another part of you wants to take command. Acceptance does not mean you love, or even like, the way things are; it simply gives you the ability to release the pressure from yourself of trying to force yourself, others, and life into a mold it will not fit.
Releasing control is about learning what is within your control and using it to reach your goals while accepting that which you cannot change. You can do this by building awareness around what you can and cannot control, what happens in your body, and leaning into acceptance.
Releasing control is easier said than done and is incredibly freeing when you are able to let go and accept instead. Control is an illusion in the sense that the more you grasp for control, the more you realize you don’t have power over certain things. Letting go of control is about building awareness around how you control, what happens when you do, and accepting things you can’t control. At Avalon Malibu, we can help you heal your mind and let go of control for a freer life. Call Avalon Malibu today at (844) 857-5992.