Bringing up couples therapy with your partner doesn’t have to be a disaster. While many people associate couples therapy with a breakup or divorce, it can genuinely bring you two closer together. Discussing couples therapy with your partner may be daunting, but it will strengthen your relationship in the long run. Find out what to remember and what to avoid when suggesting couples therapy to your partner.
Timing: When to Bring Up Couples Therapy
When you ask your partner about couples therapy is just as crucial as how you ask them. Find a time that is convenient for both of you to process the idea of joining couples therapy. As this is a sensitive and possibly stressful topic for your partner, avoid bringing it up when they are already stressed, heading to work, or busy with other tasks.
You want to start the conversation about couples therapy when your partner is relaxed and in a better mood. This will make it easier for them to process the topic in a comforting environment without additional stressors. Try setting this soothing environment for your partner and find the right time to broach the topic of couples therapy when you are both in a relaxed and positive mindset.
The last thing you want to do is confront your partner about couples therapy in the middle of an argument. While this can clearly be tempting, your partner will already be upset and unwilling. Not only will they be in the wrong mindset to consider therapy, but they will also likely see you bringing up the topic as a way of attacking them rather than helping.
When your partner is already upset or angry, they most likely will become defensive when the topic of couples therapy is brought up. Ultimately, both you and your partner will become defensive, and no real progress will be made. When this happens, the notion of couples therapy will continue to remain in a negative light. Wait for the right moment when both you and your partner are more open to discussing couples therapy and strengthening your relationship.
Ensure That You Still Love Them
Unfortunately, the topic of couples therapy does have a stigma surrounding it. Your partner may question whether you still love them after discussing couples therapy or if you’re considering leaving them. While these are valid feelings, you must assure your partner that you want to strengthen your relationship, not end it. Explain that your love for them is exactly why you want to improve your relationship by trying couples therapy.
The discussion should not be highlighting all the issues you have with your relationship but everything you want for both you and your partner’s love life. When coming from a place of love and honesty, your partner will be more inclined to respond candidly and acceptingly. They may try to state that your relationship is not that troubled, which you should confirm that it isn’t, and you simply want to ensure that it never gets to that place.
Display Emotional Honesty
You may be afraid to be open about your struggles within your relationship. However, your partner most likely knows that your relationship is not perfect or ideal either. By being emotionally vulnerable, you’re opening the door to an honest conversation about how you both feel about your relationship’s issues and rough spots.
Emotional honesty and vulnerability on your part can allow your partner to feel more able to reciprocate. This will allow you both to fully consider couples therapy without feeling defensive or denying any problems that you two may have. While this may be difficult for your partner, showing your vulnerable side will, at the very least, show how important couples therapy is to you.
Forcing Couples Therapy Is Not the Answer
No matter how desperate you are for your partner to join you in couples therapy, you cannot force them. For your relationship to reap the benefits of therapy, both you and your partner will need to be willing to participate. While they may try to appease you and agree to attend couples therapy, they may not exactly be fully ready to put the necessary work in.
Let them be part of the decision-making. Not only on whether you attend couples therapy or not but also on other factors. Give them time to consider therapy and allow them to choose which therapist you two will see. Perhaps they would prefer a male counselor or a person of color. Your partner will feel more comfortable when they also have a say in this decision.
Couples Therapy at Avalon Malibu
For people in committed relationships who deal with depression, insecurities, marital troubles, and other connected challenges, Avalon Malibu provides couples counseling. It requires effort to maintain a committed relationship, and this kind of treatment may assist in resolving issues, enhancing communication, and fostering a closer tie between couples.
Compassion and empathy are essential in couples therapy, as are excellent listening, organizing, problem-solving, and communication skills. In order to promote the sharing of one’s deepest thoughts and feelings as a necessary step in the healing process, our therapists assist clients in developing this skill set and strengthening their capacity for mutual trust.
Building and maintaining a healthy relationship is crucial for any lasting connection. Couples therapy shouldn’t be the last resort but instead a way for you and your partner to become closer. Couples therapy at Avalon Malibu will allow you and your partner to examine the areas in your relationship that need work, not just on your part but also theirs. In couples therapy, we treat each individual from a relationship perspective and focus on understanding symptoms and patterns within the couple’s dynamic. Our staff primarily treats individuals but is expertly trained in couples therapy and even offers couples the option of group therapy. Learn more about our couples therapy treatment options by calling (844) 857-5992.