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The holidays are often filled with family, friends, food, games, and more. While spending time with friends and family can be fun, it can also easily get out of hand. Many people drink during the holidays to celebrate, relieve stress, socialize and more; this habit of thinking also causes people to spend too much, argue more, get in accidents, become more stressed or anxious, and not have real conversations with each other. Perhaps you are in recovery or are simply trying to cut down on drinking. No matter the case, it can be difficult to manage our original goal of sobriety during the holidays when our loved ones are indulging and want us to partake in the drinking festivities as well. Here are four nice (and effective!) ways of denying alcohol at holiday events:

There is much debate regarding whether addiction is a disease or if someone chooses to engage with the addiction. The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse claims that addiction is defined as a disease by most medical organizations, primarily because addiction involves changes of the brain and body. The belief that addiction is a choice stems from the fact that individuals often have a choice in whether they want to consume a substance that is addictive. This initial choice indicates their free will, but even after one-time use a person can become hooked whether they initially meant to or not. Addiction is labeled as an issue with impulse control; The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) denotes that while a person’s free will begins with their first use, it should not be a basis of judgment because as humans, we all make choices that otherwise wouldn’t be deemed as prudent. The NIDA further mentions that addiction does physically affect the brain, causing chemical changes that may alter their behavior. Professor Gene Heyman, lecturer of psychology at the Harvard Extension School, takes on the perspective of the choice model of addiction: he believes that the predisposing factors that we have towards addiction are just factors that we can choose whether will influence our behavior. In this sense, he explains that many individuals with an addiction can quit, and it’s because they have made the choice to do so. He goes on to explain that individuals who are unable to quit often have a co-occurring psychiatric disorder that is further complicating their decision to seek treatment and stop. Based on several debates by organizations and researchers, it seems that both aspects hold some truth. Most people have the choice to decide whether to take a drug or substance, and their knowledge and instincts can inform them of whether this would be the best choice given the dangers and risks involved. A series of uninformed choices can cause chemical changes in the brain which may further inhibit someone from stopping their addictive behavior, especially if they have a psychiatric illness that further perpetuates and triggers feelings that lead back towards the substance that is giving them feelings of contentment and happiness.

Most of us know of someone with an addiction; some of us have been asked for money or other resources to help our friend or family member. When this happens, our loved one always seems to have an upsetting story or sad reason for why they need support, but they may never seek treatment. We want to help them and at first, we may even give them everything we are able to offer – but our loved one continues to ask for more and more, and eventually we become exhausted of our time, money, resources, mental and physical energy.   Setting limits is very important when living with someone who has an addiction. By setting boundaries, you are protecting yourself and your well-being while also ensuring your loved one facing the natural consequences of their own actions. For example, you may wish to inform your loved one that if they are using, you refuse to loan them money or pay their bills. If you feel that your loved one is not going to seek treatment on their own, you may wish to stage an intervention. Planning, gathering information, forming an intervention team, deciding on specific consequences, making notes on what to say, holding an intervention meeting, and following up are all important steps to reach out to your loved one. There are several reasons for why your loved one may not wish to seek treatment: 1) they don’t want everyone to know that “had to seek help” because of their addiction, 2) they believe treatment is too expensive, 3) they feel life is too hard being sober, 4) they believe they don’t really have a problem, and/or 5) they haven’t hit rock bottom yet. Educating yourself about addiction is one of the best ways you can prepare yourself to better understand your loved one and what they are going through. Educating yourself, setting limits, staging an intervention, and taking care of yourself are all steps needed when your loved one isn’t taking steps towards their treatment and recovery.

Common misconceptions surrounding mental illness involve beliefs of violence towards oneself or others, unintelligibility, and criminal behavior. These beliefs perpetuate stigma and further denote the mental illness for what it really is – a mental illness and not the whole person. The Psychiatric Times notes that the aggressiveness and impulsivity shown by characters with schizophrenia in movies and televisions shows increases stigmatization and poorer treatment outcomes. According to the Scientific American, approximately 60 to 80 percent of the population believes that individuals with schizophrenia are likely to commit violent acts. Psychiatrist E. Fuller Torrey states that most people with schizophrenia are not violent and do not exhibit dangerous behaviors. Dr. Irene Levine, psychologist and co-author of Schizophrenia for Dummies notes that, “People with schizophrenia more often tend to be victims rather than perpetrators of violence although untreated mental illness and substance abuse often increase the risk of aggressive behavior.” Hallucinations and delusions involving suspiciousness may cause someone to become aggressive, but proper treatment and medication can prevent this. Individuals without treatment will have less knowledge on their disorder, which will cause them to have less control over their behavior. Southeastern Arizona Behavioral Health Services (SEABHS) claims that there is a small link between schizophrenia and violence, and in fact there is more of a link between violence and substance abuse problems. There is much more of a risk that a person will harm you if they have a drug or alcohol addiction than if a person has schizophrenia. What’s most important for someone with schizophrenia is to be diagnosed and treated so that they can better understand their condition and how to manage their symptoms, which typically involves medication. The Scientific American claims that “, severely mentally ill people account for only 3 to 5 percent of violent crimes in the general population”. The stigma behind schizophrenia and violence needs to cease because each person is different and mental illness should not be blamed or stereotyped. Understanding the reality and facts behind mental illness can help break the stigma.

While many of us are aware of the damaging effects that stigma can have, unfortunately there are many people that do not yet understand. Common misconceptions surrounding mental illness can easily take on the perceptions of heavy television viewers and hearsay, often making it more difficult to combat. The following are several reliable ways to cope with stigmatization if you experience it:

Anxiety and depression can feel debilitating and can make it hard to complete simple tasks such as getting out of bed, going to the grocery store, and meeting up for social gatherings. Many people with anxiety and/or depression want to begin taking steps to better their mental health but don’t know how to get there. First and foremost, seeking treatment is a fantastic way to improve symptoms of mental illness because you can work with a therapist one-on-one to develop tools and learn coping mechanisms. However, there are many online resources that one can use to get immediate help.

Group therapy may seem very daunting – meeting new people, sharing personal information, and the overall new experience of group therapy may provoke anxiety. While these reasons are understandable, group therapy can provide several benefits. The most crucial step you can take before you begin group therapy is to adjust your perception, change your mindset that group therapy will be beneficial to you because this will set you up for a more positive experience. Associate Editor Margarita Tartakovsky of Psych Central has noted several ways that group therapy can uplift us in recovery:

With the holidays coming up, it can be easy to feel nervous about the urge to abuse alcohol or drugs. Whether potential usage is with family or friends, or whether we may feel lonely during the holidays, the urge is still there, and it’s real. If you’ve been in recovery for quite some time or if you’re just wanting to ensure your health and safety this holiday season, sobriety can easily be achieved by remembering and following these few simple tips:

“We do not heal the past by dwelling there; we heal the past by living fully in the present.” – Marianne Williamson Letting go of the past can be very hard to do. Complex situations of the past can creep into every nook and cranny of space in our minds, filling every subconscious thought or decision we make. Dr. Judith Sills states, “It is heart-stoppingly easy to get stuck in the darkness of bad memories. They are emotional quicksand and exert a strong downward pull on the psyche.” We often have an urge to go back and right the wrongs, do things differently, say something else – anything to change the outcome of a situation that hurt us badly. These memories can plague us and leave us feeling exhausted. Letting go of the chains of the past means giving freedom to ourselves both in the present and future. Dr. John Grohol, founder and CEO of Psych Central, has provided several steps for letting go of the past:

When it comes to recovery, finding healthy outlets is key. Recovery is a time for growing, learning, and bettering ourselves. A time where we can focus on how our mental illness or addiction affects us and others – and during recovery we develop tools so overcome our addiction or tools to better work with symptoms of a mental illness. These tools are incredibly important – we take them day by day, and over time we transform.

When we only see our friends on the weekends, or a few times a month, it can be hard to tell what they are going through. Sometimes people don’t always tell us their struggles and if something upsetting has recently occurred in their life and we aren’t made aware, our friend may be in more danger of developing an addiction, especially if they feel they do not have an outlet. According to MentalHelp.net, the following are signs to tell if your friend has an addiction problem: Behavioral signs:

An excerpt from Tom Shachtman’s book titled, To Be or Not To Be Amish: Once the young ladies hit the cars, and the cars have pulled away from the homestead, appearances and behaviors begin to change. While riding along, each Amish girl performs at least one of many actions that have been forbidden to her throughout her childhood: lights up a cigarette, grabs a beer, switches on the rock and rap music on the car radio or CD player, converses loudly and in a flirtatious manner with members of the opposite sex. Leanne, a character from “Orange is the New Black”, grew up in an Amish community and started using meth during her Rumspringa. Outside of her character, this issue is a major concern in the United States today. According to Amish America, Rumspringa or “running around” is “a term used to describe the period of adolescence Amish experience starting at around age 16. Rumspringa seems to have caused an epidemic of addiction among the Amish community; last year, approximately 70 people – many of them youth – were arrested at an Amish party. Fox 59 reported more than 1000 people were expected to attend from Ohio and the Interstate before the party was shut down. Addiction does not discriminate. Individuals of the Amish community face the same demons the rest of us face, including addiction. According to NPR.org, Rumspringa is a time where adolescents of the Amish community can “test” out the modern world to determine if they would like to continue their path within the community. At age 16, the adolescents have not yet been baptized, so they are not officially considered members of the church yet. Many youths are encouraged to explore movie theatres, driving, malls and more – but some, with this feeling of freedom, take part in unhealthy behaviors that lead to addiction. Alcoholism, meth, heroin, and opioid addiction all impact the Amish community, just like any other community. The dangers are ever more real to Amish youth because, with this form of freedom, they are likely to take drastic action in a similar fashion people first entering college might take. At any age and in any community, addiction can occur.