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As stated in a book titled: Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change, written by Jeffrey Foote, Carrie Wilkens, and Nicole Kosanke with Stephanie Higgs, “Recognizing that for most people change is more like learning to read than getting hit on the head with an apple, you’ll be less likely to blame a loved one for being ‘bad at it’ in the beginning or despair when he has bad days later on…. Change isn’t magic. It does not take a miracle. Change takes thought, planning, and work, and reasons to do something different. You can help make it worth it for your loved one, by helping to create an environment in which positive behavior is rewarded by your affection, presence, collaboration, and other forms of reinforcement, while negative behavior is shut out in the cold.” Living with someone who has an addiction can be challenging, especially if we do not know what to expect or how to handle the situation. Doing research and seeking help are important to do both before your loved one moves in and after they’ve moved in. Candance Plattor, registered clinical counselor who has recovered from addiction to opioids, marijuana, and alcohol, notes 5 key things that need to happen to love yourself and the person with the addiction:

A well-known and perpetuated myth is that holidays are meant to be spent in a well-decorated home with a table filled with home-cooked meals and a large group of friends and family who all love and care about each other. This myth brings about much stress and anxiety, as people all over the world strive to make this mystical picture a reality and feel depressed when they cannot. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) defines the feelings of fatigue, tension, frustration, loneliness or isolation, sadness, or sense of loss as “the holiday blues”. A NAMI survey found that 64% of people say they are affected by this, and 24% say the holidays affect them a lot. NAMI notes that the holiday blues are different from clinical anxiety or depression because the feelings are temporary – however, these feelings can lead to long-term mental health conditions if not taken care of properly. While some families can have some form of the mystical holiday picture, not everyone’s story is like that, and that’s okay. There are millions of people out there who, by societal standards, spend their holidays “alone” – but they’re not alone. Many choose to do other things that make the holidays special for them, even if it’s not specifically with friends or family. For example, many people volunteer by serving food at a homeless shelter or visiting the elderly in residential centers. Many senior citizens feel depressed during the holidays because they’ve lost a loved one or they do not have the health or finances to do something for the holidays. This provides them with wonderful company, they can support a cause, and their heart grows bigger by being with others. In the simplest form, treat the holiday as a typical day and have a detailed list of activity scheduled for the day. NAMI states that sticking to a routine is best because it allows you to stay focused on what you must do rather than wondering what you may be missing. Make the decision to get up, make breakfast, do some cleaning, exercise, do something creative, etc. Before you know it, a full day will go by and it will be time for bed – your day will not have been wasted, and you will feel pleasure in knowing that you had a good day without feeling upset. A few other activities you can do:

Mental disorders are very prevalent and, according to Newsweek, nearly 1 in 5 Americans experience a mental illness each year. That equates to 42.5 million Americans enduring symptoms of conditions such as bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, depression, and more. Although there are many people with a mental illness, many do not seek treatment. Mental disorders can be very difficult to diagnose, and what may appear to be one disorder may in fact be another. Dr. Simon Hoermann, Psy.D Corinne Zupanick and Dr. Mark Dombeck explained on MentalHelp.net that while many individuals with a disorder experience significant distress, many only experience distress and dissatisfaction routinely regarding relationships, work, or home life and may therefore not believe that anything is wrong. If the distress is significant only occasionally, the person may assume these are random occurrences. When this occurs, often it’s the individual’s close friends or loved ones that recognize symptoms before they do.  Additionally, a lack of awareness is very possible. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has identified the medical condition “anosognosia” as a “lack of insight” or “lack of awareness” causing the person to reject their diagnosis of a mental illness or perception of their mental illness. NAMI notes that as human beings, we are constantly updating our self-image and, we may fail to recognize that we have a mental illness if we maintain our self-image that was perceived prior to developing any signs of a mental illness. Individuals who have never experienced anything other than their current symptoms may not realize that what they are going through is classified as a mental disorder. NPR claims that some mental disorder symptoms such as depression may be a weakness, so a person that experiences severe depression may not understand the classification of it but may view themselves as just being “weak”.

Amidst the opioid crisis in the United States, it may feel as though our country needs quite a bit of reshaping. Even in tough times it’s important to remain positive towards those that are working hard to promote recovery. The Addiction and Recovery Awareness Music Fest in Westminster, Maryland “gathered music fans, treatment advocates and professionals, supportive friends and family members, and those in recovery at the event located in the Carroll County Agricultural Center”, according to reporter Brittany Britto of The Baltimore Sun. Jesse Tomlin and Kyle Leonard created the event. According to the Carroll County Times, Tomlin stated, “I said let’s go above and beyond with it. I want to reach a lot of people, not just his followers. Let’s do something that’ll reach the whole community.” Rising Above Addiction, a non-profit organization that hosted the event, sold over 500 tickets and raised over $6,000 to go towards addiction treatment and recovery.  The event was held on July 15th, 2017, and began at 4 p.m. Entry was $10, and the event featured rap artists Rem One, Ridge Long, The Signifiers, Prospekt, and more. These artists were all featured because they are also going through recovery. The main goal of the event was to promote the message that sobriety is obtainable. Featured speaker Bryan Novak, skateboarder from the MTV franchise Jackass, spoke about sobriety by stating, “This isn’t an epidemic…it’s a pandemic. I don’t know exactly how I can change the War on Drugs…but I let people know that recovery is possible. I want people to know there is a solution…there are resources available and most importantly if you’re breathing, it’s never too late”. According to The Fix, over 2,000 people died from drugs in Maryland last year, which was a 66% increase from 2015. The music festival helped not only to inspire others, but to encourage people to support one another. It also attempted to prove the point that addiction does not discriminate – there is no one “type” of person or circumstance that can be pulled in by addiction. It can happen to anyone, and we all must come together to help each other get through it.

Gambling addiction is considered a process addiction, because it involves compulsively tending to slot machines and casino games. The Scientific American quotes that surveys have shown approximately 2 million people in the United States are addicted to gambling; this addiction can impact several aspects of daily life. Research shows that gambling addiction affects regions of the brain that other addictions do: impulsivity and reward seeking. Losing causes a person with gambling addiction to want to try again, and winning causes a person to want to put even more money down because they could potentially win more. It’s a dangerous system that activates the brain’s reward center and over time, reels in the person to continue the behavior to feel happy. Business Insider has identified the following as symptoms of gambling addiction:

A personality disorder is defined as a type of mental disorder in which a person has a rigid and unhealthy pattern of thinking, functioning, and behaving. Living with a personality disorder can affect every aspect of one’s life. Dating someone with a personality disorder can also be challenging. Bustle has noted the following characteristics of someone with dependent personality disorder (DPD): low self-esteem, often seems “clingy” or “passive”, unable to make decisions on one’s own, hates being alone, goes from one relationship to another, is unable to take initiative on projects, and is very agreeable with partner in fear of them leaving. Individuals with DPD may appear very fearful, anxious, or sad. If you are dating someone with this disorder, they may take a lot of energy from you, seek your approval constantly, rarely disagree with you and be very influential. People with DPD often to not rise to their full potential because they rely on someone else’s support. There are several things you should be careful not to do with your partner if they have DPD:

The holidays are often filled with family, friends, food, games, and more. While spending time with friends and family can be fun, it can also easily get out of hand. Many people drink during the holidays to celebrate, relieve stress, socialize and more; this habit of thinking also causes people to spend too much, argue more, get in accidents, become more stressed or anxious, and not have real conversations with each other. Perhaps you are in recovery or are simply trying to cut down on drinking. No matter the case, it can be difficult to manage our original goal of sobriety during the holidays when our loved ones are indulging and want us to partake in the drinking festivities as well. Here are four nice (and effective!) ways of denying alcohol at holiday events:

There is much debate regarding whether addiction is a disease or if someone chooses to engage with the addiction. The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse claims that addiction is defined as a disease by most medical organizations, primarily because addiction involves changes of the brain and body. The belief that addiction is a choice stems from the fact that individuals often have a choice in whether they want to consume a substance that is addictive. This initial choice indicates their free will, but even after one-time use a person can become hooked whether they initially meant to or not. Addiction is labeled as an issue with impulse control; The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) denotes that while a person’s free will begins with their first use, it should not be a basis of judgment because as humans, we all make choices that otherwise wouldn’t be deemed as prudent. The NIDA further mentions that addiction does physically affect the brain, causing chemical changes that may alter their behavior. Professor Gene Heyman, lecturer of psychology at the Harvard Extension School, takes on the perspective of the choice model of addiction: he believes that the predisposing factors that we have towards addiction are just factors that we can choose whether will influence our behavior. In this sense, he explains that many individuals with an addiction can quit, and it’s because they have made the choice to do so. He goes on to explain that individuals who are unable to quit often have a co-occurring psychiatric disorder that is further complicating their decision to seek treatment and stop. Based on several debates by organizations and researchers, it seems that both aspects hold some truth. Most people have the choice to decide whether to take a drug or substance, and their knowledge and instincts can inform them of whether this would be the best choice given the dangers and risks involved. A series of uninformed choices can cause chemical changes in the brain which may further inhibit someone from stopping their addictive behavior, especially if they have a psychiatric illness that further perpetuates and triggers feelings that lead back towards the substance that is giving them feelings of contentment and happiness.

Most of us know of someone with an addiction; some of us have been asked for money or other resources to help our friend or family member. When this happens, our loved one always seems to have an upsetting story or sad reason for why they need support, but they may never seek treatment. We want to help them and at first, we may even give them everything we are able to offer – but our loved one continues to ask for more and more, and eventually we become exhausted of our time, money, resources, mental and physical energy.   Setting limits is very important when living with someone who has an addiction. By setting boundaries, you are protecting yourself and your well-being while also ensuring your loved one facing the natural consequences of their own actions. For example, you may wish to inform your loved one that if they are using, you refuse to loan them money or pay their bills. If you feel that your loved one is not going to seek treatment on their own, you may wish to stage an intervention. Planning, gathering information, forming an intervention team, deciding on specific consequences, making notes on what to say, holding an intervention meeting, and following up are all important steps to reach out to your loved one. There are several reasons for why your loved one may not wish to seek treatment: 1) they don’t want everyone to know that “had to seek help” because of their addiction, 2) they believe treatment is too expensive, 3) they feel life is too hard being sober, 4) they believe they don’t really have a problem, and/or 5) they haven’t hit rock bottom yet. Educating yourself about addiction is one of the best ways you can prepare yourself to better understand your loved one and what they are going through. Educating yourself, setting limits, staging an intervention, and taking care of yourself are all steps needed when your loved one isn’t taking steps towards their treatment and recovery.

Common misconceptions surrounding mental illness involve beliefs of violence towards oneself or others, unintelligibility, and criminal behavior. These beliefs perpetuate stigma and further denote the mental illness for what it really is – a mental illness and not the whole person. The Psychiatric Times notes that the aggressiveness and impulsivity shown by characters with schizophrenia in movies and televisions shows increases stigmatization and poorer treatment outcomes. According to the Scientific American, approximately 60 to 80 percent of the population believes that individuals with schizophrenia are likely to commit violent acts. Psychiatrist E. Fuller Torrey states that most people with schizophrenia are not violent and do not exhibit dangerous behaviors. Dr. Irene Levine, psychologist and co-author of Schizophrenia for Dummies notes that, “People with schizophrenia more often tend to be victims rather than perpetrators of violence although untreated mental illness and substance abuse often increase the risk of aggressive behavior.” Hallucinations and delusions involving suspiciousness may cause someone to become aggressive, but proper treatment and medication can prevent this. Individuals without treatment will have less knowledge on their disorder, which will cause them to have less control over their behavior. Southeastern Arizona Behavioral Health Services (SEABHS) claims that there is a small link between schizophrenia and violence, and in fact there is more of a link between violence and substance abuse problems. There is much more of a risk that a person will harm you if they have a drug or alcohol addiction than if a person has schizophrenia. What’s most important for someone with schizophrenia is to be diagnosed and treated so that they can better understand their condition and how to manage their symptoms, which typically involves medication. The Scientific American claims that “, severely mentally ill people account for only 3 to 5 percent of violent crimes in the general population”. The stigma behind schizophrenia and violence needs to cease because each person is different and mental illness should not be blamed or stereotyped. Understanding the reality and facts behind mental illness can help break the stigma.

While many of us are aware of the damaging effects that stigma can have, unfortunately there are many people that do not yet understand. Common misconceptions surrounding mental illness can easily take on the perceptions of heavy television viewers and hearsay, often making it more difficult to combat. The following are several reliable ways to cope with stigmatization if you experience it:

Anxiety and depression can feel debilitating and can make it hard to complete simple tasks such as getting out of bed, going to the grocery store, and meeting up for social gatherings. Many people with anxiety and/or depression want to begin taking steps to better their mental health but don’t know how to get there. First and foremost, seeking treatment is a fantastic way to improve symptoms of mental illness because you can work with a therapist one-on-one to develop tools and learn coping mechanisms. However, there are many online resources that one can use to get immediate help.