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Establishing a friendship is difficult at any age. Meeting new people is tough — especially during a period of social distancing — and learning to be vulnerable with another person is typically a long and arduous process. Individuals coping with substance use disorder (SUD) and any comorbid disorders, such as anxiety, may find opening up to be more challenging than peers without SUD. Finding new friends is no easy task, but when you forge meaningful friendships with new people, you make progress in your recovery journey.

There has been a rise in social acceptance of marijuana use within the past decade. Eleven states have some form of recreational marijuana, and 47 states allow use for medicinal purposes. It’s not as cut and dry as it may seem, and there are a lot of important considerations when using marijuana regularly. There have been studies that show a link between prolonged marijuana abuse and mental illness. Of course, there are a lot of factors that play a role, including the amount of drug used, the age at first use, and genetic vulnerability.

You may have heard someone say that you are being “difficult” — or maybe you have called someone else “difficult” before. You may be asking yourself what exactly this means, and how can you make yourself less “difficult”. Emotional intelligence is typically thought of as the ability to recognize, understand, and healthily express one's own emotions, coupled with the ability to recognize, interpret, and respond to other people's emotions. A lot of us struggle with being aware that we have feelings or why we are feeling something at all. We don't know what to do once we realize we are feeling something. A lot of this comes from feelings of dissociation and avoidance due to trauma. Because of this, it is difficult to trust our intuition — that feeling in our gut or our "moral compass" that directs us to do the right things versus acting on impulse. This leads us to dismiss our feelings, and dismiss others by proxy. It hinders our ability to experience self-regulation. This can cause negative consequences — for example, we may be more reactive, take things more personally, and/or be a lot more judgemental of ourselves and others. There have been numerous studies that followed the importance of having emotional intelligence and how to attain it. There are five categories of emotional intelligence.

Relapse is considered a very taboo subject for those in addiction recovery, often because nobody wants to associate themselves with that feeling of “going back,” “failing,” or “being weak.” Despite what you may have heard about relapse, it is a common occurrence for many of us in recovery. It can be used to teach people valuable lessons about themselves and their journey through recovery. As you navigate the experience of healing and sobriety, it’s important to remember that forgiveness – and understanding that you’re human – can carry you through the dark days.

Anorexia nervosa is a type of eating disorder that is characterized by weight loss (or lack of needed weight gain in children). There are different types of eating disorders people suffer from around the world today. At least 30 million people of all ages and genders suffer from an eating disorder in the United States. One in five anorexia deaths are by suicide. 50 to 80 percent of the risk for anorexia is genetic. 33 to 50 percent of anorexia patients suffer from comorbid mood disorders, like depression and anxiety. These mood disorders are more common with a binging and purging type of eating disorder, rather than a restrictive one. Nearly half of all Americans know at least one person who suffers from an eating disorder. An estimated 10 to 15 percent of people with bulimia are males. Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of mental health disorders. Five to ten percent of anorexics die within ten years of developing this disease. 18 to 20 percent die after twenty years, leaving the remaining 30 to 40 percent fully recovered. Anorexia is very common in young adults and is the third most common mental illness within that age group. 95 percent of people suffering from an eating disorder range from 12-25 years old. 50 percent of children between 11 and 13 with an eating disorder see themselves as overweight. Eating disorders can affect any race — it is seen in countries all over the world. In Japan, it is the leading psychological disorder in young women. Symptoms to look out for include:

A part of addiction recovery that often goes unspoken is the fact that we change as people. We learn more about who we are, we reinvent ourselves, and we create a life that’s more fitting to what we want. In many cases, this involves a change in social networks. The people with whom we used to abuse substances no longer fit into our life anymore and new connections take hold. Life begins to shift more towards a recovery perspective, and this changes everything. Although this will feel like a significant change, it’s something that you should embrace, not fear.

PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder, is a type of anxiety disorder that may develop after a person has experienced a traumatic event. However, there is also complex PTSD, which may be diagnosed by a healthcare professional if a person has experienced prolonged or repeated trauma over months or years. PTSD is generally related to a single event, while complex PTSD is related to a series of events or prolonged trauma. Symptoms of PTSD can emerge after an individual has experienced a traumatic event such as physical assault, sexual abuse, or car accident. PTSD affects 7-8 percent of Americans at some point in their lives. These symptoms are a result of changes in some regions of the brain that deal with emotion, memory, and reasoning — the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex. The symptoms of complex PTSD can be more detrimental and intense than those of PTSD. Types of ongoing trauma that may lead to complex PTSD include:

If you are brand new to recovery, you may not know what all the jargon means. Twelve steps are mentioned often, and you know that people go to gatherings that are called meetings, but that might be the extent of your knowledge. To admit that you suffer from substance use disorder is very difficult. It is hard for us because it is a disease that tells you you do not have it in the first place. To get to those first 24 hours sober is sometimes the hardest part. It is important to remember that recovery is a journey, not a race. Everyone does this thing one day at a time, just like the rest of us. Those who reach these milestones are usually awarded a chip that has the amount of time on it.

by Kristin Snowden, LMFT Originally published on Sexandrelationshiphealing.com, January 3, 2020

Contrary action is one of the best suggestions someone can give an individual in early recovery. Our minds have been warped, and our perception has been clouded by alcohol and substances for a long time. Everything we thought was right has turned out to be false. We can see that, on our own, we had tried to recover before and never succeeded. If we did succeed, it was only for a short while. It may sound counter-intuitive to take direction from someone else instead of yourself. However, it's not hard to see that our own ideas have not been successful. To overcome our addictions, we must find out what it is that we are doing wrong.

Acceptance is a part of the 12-step program, and we hear "acceptance is the answer" in meetings all the time. However, acceptance is not just the illusion of not caring.

It is a natural human instinct to have opinions and vocalize them to each other. Beliefs can be wonderful things. They can help people find common ground which they can agree upon. Differences of opinion benefit people by creating hot topics where people can debate and concede each other's points. Having an opinion can help a person learn a lot more about themselves and the subject matter. For example, two people might agree on a hair product that they both love. One might like it because of the results, while the other loves it because it is endorsed by a celebrity they enjoy. These are differences in opinion, even though the original idea is the same. However, what exactly are moral opinions? A moral compass is a common phrase that was most likely used by your parents during your childhood. "Always listen to that moral compass, it will lead you to what is right and wrong," they said. To return to the example above, if a third person discussed the hair product, and they said they loved it because it did not test on animals, then that person likes it for moral reasons. This is considered a moral opinion, and psychologists describe it as a "moralized attitude." These strong opinions do three things: persist over time, resist persuasion, and guide behavior. A study was performed that showed that moralized beliefs stayed with the person and continued over time. Overall it showed that these opinions stuck around for much longer than other non-moralized views.