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Sex addicts in recovery from sex addiction can still continue to have sex in their recovery. Sex addiction recovery does include abstinence. Many treatment programs and twelve step programs advocate abstinence for at least six months. What that abstinence entails, however, is up to the individual in recovery and most often their therapist as well as sponsor. Even with sex addiction, no two people are alike. The sexual behaviors one person used to act out will not necessarily be the same as the ones other person used to act out. Therefore, there is no generalized definition of what abstinence from sex and sex-addictive behaviors should look like. Sex Addicts Anonymous explains, “Most of us have no desire to stop being sexual altogether. It is not sex in and of itself that causes us problems, but the addiction to certain sexual behaviors.” All of sex and any idea of sex might not be the issue in someone’s sex addiction. This approach is unique to sex addiction because sex is a natural part of life. Alcohol is a choice. Drugs are a choice. Even gambling is a luxury. Sex, however, is a form of bonding, reproduction, and human activity for survival. Some people do choose to remain completely abstinent from sexual activity. However, many people to find that not to be sustainable. Unlike alcoholism or drug addiction in which a person truly cannot have just one drink or drug, people with sex addiction can have healthy sexual interactions. What they learn to do through therapy, treatment, and working the steps of twelve step programs like SAA is decide which behaviors are the ones they can participate in and which ones are not. SAA uses a three ring model to illustrate this. An inner circle, a middle circle, and an outer circle, help highlight the sexual behaviors which are manageable and the sexual behaviors which lead to the behaviors of someone’s addiction. The inner circle represents the behaviors which have been decided should absolutely be abstained from. The middle circle is designated for the trigger behaviors, the ones which could be managed but will likely lead to acting out sexually. Lastly, the outer circle includes the healthy behaviors which positively contribute to sex addiction recovery.

Personality disorders can make life unmanageable.The presence of a personality disorder affects more than someone’s personality. It affects the way they see and relate to the world, as well as how the world sees and relates to them.

Mental health disorders are typically misinformed. People do not fully understand the reality of what mental health disorders are, the effect they have on someone’s life, and the severity in which they can occur. Obsessive compulsive disorder is used in popular culture to reference an “obsession” with being organized, clean and making sure everything is perfect. Perfectionism and obsessive compulsive disorder are two different things. Being obsessed with everything being just so is a focus on the outcome, of things being just so. Sometimes people will obsess about the consequences if they lack perfection. Mostly, it's personal irritation because of a commitment to make things just so. The intrusive thoughts which come with obsessive compulsive disorder are not about perfection. They aren’t about personal interest or a desire to make things perfect. Often, the obsessive thinking of OCD is disruptive and shocking. Building up a pressure, the brain resorts to compulsive thinking. If someone with OCD can act on their compulsive behavior, it will make the obsessive, intrusive thinking go away. This is different from wanting to be a perfectionist about an activity in order to let go of the stress of something not being perfect. The thought processes of obsessive compulsive disorder aren’t rational. The relationship between the obsessive thoughts and the compulsive behaviors often don’t match. For example, a perfectionist might obsess about the ribbon tied on a package being crooked. It will drive them to irritability if they don’t fix that ribbon. Someone with obsessive compulsive disorder might believe that if they don’t untie and retie the ribbon five times, they might be the cause of a train accident four states away. That’s different from perfectionism. People who have perfectionist tendencies seem to revel in labeling themselves obsessive compulsive. People call themselves OCD when they aren’t OCD because, simply stated, they aren’t informed about what OCD really is. Today, the conversation regarding mental health and mental illness is growing. With an opening dialogue, the conversation is shifting from misinformation to information, breaking down the stigmas and stereotypes one at a time. Individuals living with real, diagnosed OCD are speaking up against the tide of stereotype and changing the way people talk about mental health.

There is a difference between an avoidant personality disorder, attachment issues, severe shyness, and just being an introvert. Introversion is hard for people who are not introverted to understand. People who are introverts are comfortable with their minimal and quiet lifestyle and do not feel a need to be any more extroverted than they are, because it isn’t true to their nature. Introverts are not mentally unhealthy or completely socially isolated. People who are introverts tend to lead simple lives which suits their needs in healthy ways. Many people who are not introverts will believe, for example, that introverts act with agoraphobic behaviors, where they never go outside or interact with people. Introverts, being healthy and capable, to spend time taking care of their lives, going outside, and interacting with other people. High volumes of engagement is exhausting for introverts who need ample amounts of alone time to recharge their batteries in order to socially engage again. Not spending ample amounts of time with others or in high energy situations doesn’t mean that people who are introverted can’t have a good time. What introverts define as a good time is not the same as what other people do. With other people, introverts are having a good time, but it is uncomfortable for them to process. Typically, the ideal enjoyable time for introversion is quiet time, at home, or in remote areas like nature where they can be with themselves and their thoughts. That doesn’t mean that introverts only talk to themselves, or that they talk to themselves at all. Introverts are quite knowledgeable and passionate. They are more than willing to engage in healthy conversation or even debate about topics which inspire them. Many who are extroverts, or at least more extroverted, feel that someone who is introverted just needs to “live a little” in order to stop being so introverted. People who are introverted do not need to become extroverted. In addition extroversion is not an answer or a treatment to introversion, because introverts don’t need to be fixed or changed. Introversion should only be considered problematic when it leads to signs of other underlying mental health issues like social anxiety disorder, avoidant personality disorder, or other isolating issues.

Personality disorders like avoidant personality, dependent personality, obsessive compulsive, histrionic, narcissistic, and paranoid personality disorders are all challenging to treat with traditional therapy. It is widely understood that mental health disorders of many kinds can arise out of experiences in childhood. For personality disorders this is most often true. Treating the core of personality disorders means needing to treat the childhood from which they stem. Traditional psychotherapeutic methods don’t always go back to the core issues and rectify them. Of course, there is no going back in time and changing the past. Through schema therapy, however, there is a way to meet the part of the past that is still alive in an adult, and heal that living part. The more that the inner child, or Vulnerable Child can be healed, the less need for maladaptive coping behaviors. The American Journal of Psychiatry released a large control trial in 2014 which suggested Schema Therapy had a greater success in the treatment of personality disorders than popular forms of therapy treatments commonly used. Schema Therapy saw higher rates of recovery as well as a great reduction in depression and other symptoms. In addition, patients who regularly received Schema Therapy were less likely to drop out of their therapy. Statistically, 80% of the patients in Schema Therapy were considered “recovered” while the numbers for other kinds of therapy didn’t reach beyond 60%. Through therapy and treatment, patients become aware of their different forms of self, or the different narratives in their head, for example, the critical parent. It is most challenging to get into the mode of the vulnerable child because that is where the core existence of hurt and pain, and often trauma, exist. Maladaptive behaviors and beliefs form around protecting or even ignoring the vulnerable child because confronting or living in those vulnerable feelings threatens the protections which have been set up. However, as Science Daily reported, “Direct access to the Vulnerable Child is the key to the therapist being able to meet these needs and is the cornerstone of treatment.” Treating personality disorders includes a combination of adulthood skills for coping as well as inner child work to heal the wounds of the past. Without treatment and therapy, personality disorders can worsen overtime and complicate adult relationships. To cope with childhood pain and the pain of living with an unmanaged personality disorder, many turn to substance abuse.

Borderline personality disorder is one of the most pathologically complex personality disorders which can make it feel impossible to know just what is going through the mind of someone who lives with it.