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Celebrities are often in the spotlight not just for their talent, but for the lifestyle they lead and the choices they make. Demi Lovato is no exception; in 2017, she released her documentary, “Simply Complicated” on YouTube for fans to hear the truth behind her career and life. She explained her use with beginning cocaine at the age of 17 and following her father’s footsteps towards addiction – she stated that her father spent more time engaging in addiction than with his family. The inside look of her life reveals some of the struggles that she went through, how she experienced addiction and how she embraces recovery now. USA Today states that her documentary explores “some of her darkest times, including her drug addiction (which ranged from pills to cocaine), eating disorder and even a time she punched one of her back-up dancers.” Demi shared her moments of struggling with mental illness, and she stated for The Hollywood Reporter, “I’m looking at my future and my past, and I want to share that with my fans.” When Demi first appeared in Disney shows around the age of 15, she struggled with immense pressures to get everything she needed done, dress in certain ways, sing songs that others would like, and more. This increased her anxiety and struggled with anger. She experienced depression and had a lot of anger because of the pressures and her use with Adderall. She was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and shortly after treatment she was abusing drugs more. Demi stated, “I wasn’t ready to get sober. I was sneaking it on planes, sneaking it in bathrooms, sneaking it throughout the night – nobody knew.” Demi explained a moment in the documentary where she was asked to give up her cell phone by her managers. At 19, she was battling with addiction and was asked to submerge her phone in water – a phone that had the numbers of drug dealers and other people who would use with her. This was one of the defining moments that led her towards sobriety. Demi now has over 5 years of sobriety. Her documentary, although showing some difficult moments, is a film of success. Demi states that she is still working on being independent, and that she is still struggling with her eating disorder, but that she is proud of her sobriety to drugs and alcohol. Demi is, just like anyone else, a real person going through the ups and downs of recovery. She is still pushing through, and so can you. Don’t give up. Keep pushing.

Everyone falls off the beaten path from time to time, and recovery is no exception. Most of the “down” moments in recovery give you a chance to identify what you need to change and what you need to continue emphasizing in your recovery. Unless there are major concerns that you have about the treatment center you’re in, you’re likely letting your fears get in the way of your success. Consider these common fears:

Recovery is a magnificent process – an exploration of the self, a deeper connection with one’s inner fears and desires, and the rejoining of families and communities are part of what makes recovery so beautiful. At the heart of recovery is the development of healthy coping mechanisms; perhaps you indulged in substance abuse, violence, crime, self-harm, and negative self-talk, thinking you were solving whatever was causing your inner soul turmoil. After time, you may have realized that these were the solution – that recovery was necessary for you to grow and develop towards leading a happy life. Healthy coping is all about finding ways to express yourself, feel your emotions, and manage life’s obstacles without causing yourself or anyone else harm of any kind. Healthy coping is a powerful tool, one that can transform your heart, mind, and soul. It can get you through the most challenging of situations as you develop resiliency. For example, a 2017 study conducted by the European College of Neuropsychopharmacology (ECN) found that women who were experiencing adverse life circumstances, such as living in a deprived community, had no anxiety if they had healthy coping skills. Those with depression may find difficulty developing healthy coping skills, as they are more prone to negative thoughts. A 2013 study conducted by researchers from Poland found that compared to others, those with depression more often used strategies of avoidance and denial, and had difficulty finding the positive aspects of stressful events. When this happens, emphasis on treatment and recovery is evermore critical. We are not all born with the innate ability to utilize healthy coping, and if we were raised in an environment where this was not shown, we may not be aware of how to employ such techniques. Psych Central notes several effective coping strategies that you can use for moments when you need it the most:

A woman explained her story with sex addiction on Health.com. Here is an excerpt from her story: “I had long affairs. I wanted sex, but I also wanted somebody’s soul, in this really ego-driven way. My life was a constant juggling act of at least two men, making sure they didn’t find out about each other. I was unfaithful to every boyfriend I ever had.” Addiction affects nearly every aspect of a person’s life; obsessive thoughts and patterns of behavior can lead a person to think, feel, and act in ways that serve only the benefit of their craving. The National Council on Sexual Addiction Compulsivity estimates that 18-24 million people in the United States struggle with sex addiction. The following are common symptoms of this unofficial psychiatric diagnoses:

Imagine this scenario. You’re at a club, and you’ve only had one or two drinks so far. You plan to drink more, but then you begin feeling strange. Your face becomes flushed, you experience warm, red, itchy bumps on your skin, your asthma is acting up more than ever, and your nose is becoming stuffy. What is happening? You were just feeling fine 30 minutes ago. Alcohol intolerance is real, and it can cause severely unpleasant reactions almost immediately after you drink alcohol. Additional symptoms from the ones listed above may include low pressure, headache, nausea/vomiting, and diarrhea. If you experience alcohol intolerance, you may not need to see a doctor right away but rather refrain from drinking alcohol, limit the amount you are drinking or avoid certain types of alcohol altogether. However, if symptoms persist or become more severe, or are causing unnecessary pain, consult a physician immediately just to be safe. The enzyme in the body that digests alcohol, called aldehyde dehydrogenase (ALDH2), is shown up as a variant in other people’s genes, causing them to produce less active ALDH2. When this happens, it prevents the body from digesting the alcohol properly. A variety of ingredients within the alcohol beverage may cause the intolerance, including:

Having a personality disorder can be challenging, especially if you haven’t been diagnosed. Many symptoms of personality disorders affect every aspect of someone’s life, and eventually cause trouble in these areas, causing the person to seek a diagnosis. For example, someone with a personality disorder may experience paranoia, extreme emotional swings, unstable self-image, unstable relationships with others, impulsive or destructive behaviors, and more. Personality disorders cannot be cured, but they are treatable. The Personality Disorders Awareness Network (PDAN) outlines several effective treatments that have been used to help lessen the severity of symptoms found in a personality disorder:

Personality disorders are mental health conditions that can affect the way a person views themselves, the world, and interactions at play with others. Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) can be challenging because it is characterized by excessive attention-seeking, emotional overreaction, and suggestibility, according to Psychology Today. A person with this disorder may over-dramatize situations, placing relationships with others at peril and leading to the development of depression. People with this disorder feel uncomfortable when they are not in the spotlight – they may be very lively and dramatic when meeting new people, but may also embarrass close friends and family when they engage in excessive public displays of affection or sobbing uncontrollably over minor concerns in public. A study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy found that women with HPD had significantly lower sexual assertiveness, self-esteem, sexual desire and marital satisfaction. Those women also experienced greater levels of sexual preoccupation, sexual boredom, and orgasmic dysfunction, and were more likely to enter an extramarital affair than women in the control group whom did not have HPD. When dating someone with HPD, it is important to recognize and become familiar with all the symptoms found in the disorder. For example, one common characteristic is believing that relationships are more intimate than they really are. The person may also easily pick up on the opinions of others, without having sufficient data or reasoning to back up their claims. A person with this disorder cares deeply about their appearance, and has rapidly shifting mood swings that may be “shallow” to others. The best way to understand your partner is to educate yourself on their disorder and maybe even attend couple’s therapy with them. In doing this, both of you can learn more about one another and how to overcome some of the obstacles you each may face in the relationship. Treatment for HPD typically involves psychotherapy, a form of “talk therapy” that allows a person to uncover new parts of themselves and learn more about how they think, act, and feel. A relationship with someone who has HPD is possible, but there may be specialized concerns to work through.

Addiction impacts not just the person who was directly affected, but friends and family as well. Unfortunately, with sobriety comes learning of the ways we have hurt our loved ones, and this can be painful to grasp. Resentment and regret can seep into our loved ones, with some seeming to no longer wish the best for us. If initial family or friends’ reactions are ones of negativity and/or disheartening behavior, give them time. If serious relationship damage occurred prior to you seek treatment, a lot of anger and guilt could still be at bay. Your loved ones may need to know you’re serious, and you must show this through your words, actions, and as time goes on. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) notes that family therapy can become indispensable in situations like these. Family therapy aims to hear how addiction has impacted everyone, allowing everyone to feel heard. Through this, each person can work individually and together in therapy to rid of negative thought patterns and habits while replacing them with more hope and positivity. The more your family and friends learn about addiction and how it affects a person’s brain, the more they should be able to look at the situation more objectively. However, this does not mean that the pain will completely disappear, at least not for a while.    A mother explained her pain from hearing about her children’s’ struggle with addiction on CNN, “It’s like having someone punch you in the stomach…You’re never the same from the second you find out [about a loved one’s struggle with addiction]…It’s the hardest thing in the world.” CNN notes that many loved ones blame themselves, as they believe there was something else they should have done to stop their loved one. Yet others may feel anger from being lied to, cheated on, stolen from, and more. It’s important to remember, however, that the family dynamic can change over time with the help of a family therapist. The most important thing you can do for yourself and your family is to focus on your recovery.

Three requirements for success in recovery

Here is an excerpt of a story that a woman shared about her recovery on the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services website: “As much as it pains me to admit, I let that foundation slip away and relapsed with nearly three years clean. Due to [the drug’s] availability and relatively low price, I used heroin this time, and jumped straight into using it intravenously…I was able to stop using after four days. It was incredibly discouraging having to change my clean date, but I didn’t give up.” Compared to popular belief, relapse is a common component of recovery. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) states that approximately 90% of those with alcoholism are likely to experience at least 1 relapse over the course of a 4-year period following treatment; those who do not seek treatment are less likely to achieve a 3-year remission, thus having higher chances of relapse. However, relapse should be considered a normal part of recovery and should not be considered a sign of failure or weakness. Whether you are in recovery for an addiction or mental illness, relapse can happen with either one and there are many reasons why a relapse may take place. Psychology Today states the following as triggers that could lead to relapse:

“Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.” – Henry Ford Perspective is everything in recovery – it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, which makes it a very big deal. What makes one person successful and another person fail? Whether it comes to creating and maintaining a business, learning a new instrument or reaching a goal in recovery, people become successful first and foremost because they believe they can. They have a vision, and they have identified the steps to getting there. The people that haven’t reached success yet or have stopped chasing after a venture is likely because they have imposed on themselves one of the following harmful beliefs:

Previous research has shown that engagement in activities can benefit one’s recovery; meaningful activities, as stated in a 2009 study published in the Journal of Behavioral Health Services & Research, are typically expressed as “pursuits that allow a person to grow in connection, confidence, and contribution through development of skills, education, vocation, or relationships.” Games during recovery can be a great way to connect with others, focus on living in the present moment, and rationalize steps towards becoming a better version of ourselves. The following are some excellent games that can be played that incorporate all these things: