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Being in a relationship of any kind with someone who lives with borderline personality disorder is a special kind of challenge. Loving someone who has an especially difficult time loving themselves is an ongoing commitment to acceptance, understanding, and healthy boundaries. Borderline personality disorder is defined by swinging emotions, erratic emotional reactions, negative coping habits, and an insatiable insecurity. Feeling completely out of control of their emotional reactions, which can be helped through therapy like DBT, they develop a sense of self-loathing which complicates their emotions. Desperately wanting to be normal, those with borderline personality disorder lament their lashing out, mania and depression, as well as the way their mood can affect those they love. Fears Of Abandonment Have Nothing To Do With You Part of the inspiration for the borderline insecurity is a deep and inconsolable fear of abandonment. As the partner, parent, or friend of someone with borderline you might feel an intense pressure to constantly soothe their fears and validate the fact you aren’t going anywhere. This is not your responsibility. Understand that most people with borderline experienced some event of abandonment in their lives which manifested into this disorder. You can remind them in healthy ways how much you love and care for them, without being controlled by what they feel they cannot control. Suicidal Ideations And Attempts Are Part Of Borderline Sadly, one of the ways someone with borderline personality disorder seeks validation for their insecurities and fears of abandonment is through extreme and manipulative behaviors. Discussing suicidal ideations, threatening suicide, or even making an attempt at suicide are all demonstrations of someone in a very unsettled state. With borderline, it is hard to know when they are serious. Most importantly, you have to set boundaries with what you are capable of and not. Running to their aide in panic with every threat will leave you exhausted. Your only role is to help them learn what behaviors are not acceptable. Keep the suicide prevention hotline and the number for your local suicide watch department nearby. The National Suicide Prevention Hotline Number is 800-273-TALK. They’re Going To Feel Lonely, Empty, And Isolated, No Matter What You Do Recovery with borderline personality disorder includes learning how to create their own happiness and take care of themselves in fulfilling ways. A common trap for those in a relationship with someone living with borderline is feeling as though you are responsible for their happiness. Due to the nature of the disorder, feeling lonely, isolated, and empty inside is inevitable depending on their mood. You can lovingly remind them that they are not. In this state, however, it will be hard to convince them. Keep in mind, it isn’t your job to do so. Treating borderline personality disorder is best in a facility dedicated to primary mental health treatment. Avalon Malibu is one of California’s few certified mental health treatment facilities. Our beautiful estate on the iconic Malibu coast serves as the perfect place for healing. For a confidential assessment, call us today at 1 888-958-7511.

Going to treatment helps when the mental health disorder you are living with becomes too much. However, just walking through the doors of a treatment center is not a magical cure all. The coming days will take a lot of hard work, honesty, open-mindedness, willingness, and strength. Every single component of a treatment program like the residential programs at Avalon Malibu is designed to help you gain the strength you need to continue enduring. You are being put through a daily design for healing your wounds, which will help you grow stronger. Staying so mentally strong when you feel as though you are constantly on the brink of falling apart is a challenge. Remember, you are learning to take things one day at a time. A lot can happen in a day. You will have moments of weakness. You will also have moments of great strength. Here are a few ways to keep yourself mentally strong as you work on your mental health and wellbeing. Stay Present In Treatment And Stay Focused On The Future After Treatment It might sound contradictory, especially when you are learning mindfulness based stress reduction techniques telling you to let go of the future and focus on the present. Having goals for the future can be exceptionally helpful in mental health treatment. You are working towards creating a better, healthier, more well-balanced life. If you keep dreading about the future and imagining it as a continuation of your current struggle, there won’t be any reason to keep going. To stay mentally strong, you have to have inspiration, a goal, or some kind of meaning to work toward. Don’t Be Bashful Of What You Accomplish Getting out of bed and putting on clothes every day is a pretty big accomplishment when you feel the weight of your mental illness pulling down on you. Going through the motions of a daily treatment program is full of tiny victories. Feel good about your accomplishments without judging them or labeling them “because you’re in treatment”. Treat Yourself With Kindness Nobody throws a punch like you do, in your own mind. You can beat yourself pretty well if you really want to. Treatment is a time to stop doing that. Practice self-kindness by being a little more gentle and understanding with yourself. As you take other actions to gain mental strength, this will be one of the more important ones. Nothing will wear you down faster than constantly being a bully to yourself. Avalon Malibu is one of California’s only treatment facilities providing residential treatment for clients with a primary mental health condition. If you or a loved one are in need of higher care and are ready to find healing, call us today for a confidential assessment at 1 888-958-7511.

Leave introverts alone. They’re literally not hurting anyone. There’s nothing wrong with being an introvert! According to Science of Us, there are four different kinds of introversion. To understand an introvert is to love them! Learn more below. Social Introverts Introverts who aren’t interested in being social are probably the most commonly understood model of introversion. Not all social introverts like to be alone all the time, though they often do. Solitude is the idea of a good time for many social introverts, preferring to do the things they love doing the most- alone. For other social introverts, just being with a small group of people as opposed to a big group of people is preferable. Thinking Introverts Ever notice people who seem to be stuck in a far away land deep within themselves? They might attend parties, go on large outings, and always keep to themselves. They’re thinking deeply, contemplating, reflecting, thinking, and often conjuring up brilliant creative ideas. Some people mistake thinking introversion for neuroticism or being anti-social. Instead, you could think of it as a matter of preference. They just prefer thinking and keeping to themselves. Anxious Introverts Introversion is usually enjoyable for introverts. For people who are anxiously introverted, their behaviors are a matter of necessity rather than choice. They feel extremely uncomfortable around other people because they’re uncomfortable with themselves. Seeking out solitude is a matter of survival as much as it is a social choice. Unfortunately, their introversion isn’t always the answer. Feelings of discomfort follow them even when they’re alone. Restrained Introverts Most people act on impulse. Practicing pausing before speaking and acting is a revolutionary development in many people’s lives. People who are more reserved or restrained don’t find it revolutionary, it’s a natural part of their lives. Before they become even remotely introverted on a normal scale, they have to get themselves going first. Avalon Malibu is a provider of mental health treatment and substance abuse treatment both on primary, residential levels. Our beautiful estate is the perfect home for clients who need to recover and heal. For a confidential assessment and more information, call us today at 1 888-958-7511.

Overcoming sadness is a matter of understanding and working with sadness. If you are living with depression, you might feel like you have too much sadness. In time, with treatment and therapy, the extremes of your emotions will balance out. Sadness will never go away. Feeling sad is a demonstration of our humanity. When we feel sad, we are able to recognize we have something to feel sad about. Making meaning, developing connections, and feeling attached to things in this world are healthy human traits. Sadness is the result of that. Living with sadness rather than fighting against sadness requires building an understanding of sadness and how it works in our lives. Happify Daily outlines three ways you can start viewing sadness differently: as a bonding tool, as a way to understand our emotions, and as a mindfulness based practice. Sadness is a bonding tool People come together in the wake of a tragedy. After violent events, tragic losses, and other life-altering experiences, some find themselves criticizing themselves and other humans. Why do we have to wait until something terrible happens to feel as if we are brought closer together? Sadness is a bonding mechanism. Letting ourselves feel raw, vulnerable, and sad, is an open space for meeting that moment in other people. Something unique about the real-time experience of sadness removes all of our typical barriers. We are able to recognize that everyone feels pain. Sadness helps us understand our other emotions Perhaps you’ve experienced a moment like this. As you’ve sat an cried, sobbing away about something, you feel somewhat detached, as if you’re sitting behind the waterfall of your tears. Sometimes sadness and crying feels like an opportunity to think. Releasing the swell of emotions we are processing, we can look at all of them and get a better idea of what we are going through. Sadness is a practice in mindfulness According to the article, “Psychologists say the ability to identify and manage emotions is emotional intelligence at work, and existing in this space is something they often call mindfulness.” Being sad, being present with your sadness, and just letting your sadness be what it is, is an incredibly mindful practice. Mindfulness is helpful with emotional regulation because of this exact process. You can allow your emotions to be what they are as they are while you remain present with them. Are you struggling with depression or the feeling that your emotions are out of control? We understand how that feels. To help, we’ve created a residential treatment program full of healing clinical therapy, comforting holistic treatments, and a beautiful estate to bring you serenity again. For a confidential assessment and more information on our primary mental health treatment programs call 1 888-958-7511.

Self-condemnation is a powerful tool. We have leverage on ourselves our entire lives when we believe we’ve done something worth punishment. No matter our victories, accomplishments, or joyus, we will always have that lingering sense of guilt there. Reminding us of worser times, we cna’t allow ourselves to be present, to develop in our self-worth, or be happy. Convicted for life, punishable by guilt, never to be redeemed. Coping with extreme feelings of guilt and shame is not something that we do particularly well as individuals with substance use disorders and mental health conditions. Often, the reason we develop such issues is out of a need to cope with such heavy guilt. Guilt that becomes dysfunctional and invades other areas of our lives is considered toxic. Toxic guilt is nothing more than how it sounds. Living with toxic guilt and shame feels like living with an active virus. Anything will set it off and cause it to spread. We feel toxic guilt and shame in our minds, our hearts, our souls, and even our bodies. Carrying around the weight of the entire world’s punishment by not forgiving ourselves and moving on becomes exhausting. Though we might grow calloused under the pressure and get used to the consistency of self loating, it isn’t sustainable. How To Forgive Yourself Possibly, you deserve the blame. You did something wrong, something unforgiveably wrong, and there’s no denying that. In the height of our mental illnesses and addictions, we can make some very prone decisions. Some people live with the nowledge of taking another person’s life when they were in a drunk driving accident. Others have hurt and abused the ones they love. Forgiveness is not about changing the past or condoning what has happened. Instead, forgiveness is about accepting the fact that it happened and making a commitment to do better in the future. You must start by accepting what has happened because there’s no going back and changing it. Recognize that like all people, you’re humans, and humans, thankfully, are not perfect. As such, imperfect people should be expected to make perfect mistakes. Next, you must be able to let go of that punishment and realize that you are now seeking treatment, are in treatment, or are working a program of recovery. Actively, you are creating change in your life to ensure you never have to act that way again. Avalon By The Sea is here to help you make that journey toward self-forgiveness and healing. Our residential treatment facility is one of the few certified to treat primary mental health conditions. For a confidential assessment and more information on our programs of treatment, call 1 888-958-7511.

Early recovery is the first six months to a year of sobriety, or recovery from any mental health condition. During these months, overcoming triggers is the most difficult. As you navigate the choppy waters, keep these things in mind. It’s True, Alcohol Is Everywhere And That’s Hard At some point of your life, alcohol wasn’t part of your life. Though you might have been young, you did live without alcohol for many years. It wasn’t until you learned what alcohol was, how alcohol affects you, and had the experience of consuming alcohol, that things changed. Early sobriety can feel like you’re running through a tactical maze, trying to survive every hurdle, distraction, and attack that comes your way. Remember, you’re making an important choice every day not to consume alcohol because you’ve learned it can be life threatening for you. Recovery Has To Be Your Priority “It’s a selfish program” you often hear about recovery. Recovering from drug addiction and alcoholism is incredibly self-centered. More than ever before, you have to care about yourself above everyone else because your life depends on it. Conflictingly, alcoholism and addiction are often described as selfish diseases of self-centeredness. Here’s the trick to differentiating the two: before you were focused on destroying yourself. Today, you’re focused on helping yourself heal and live. You Still Have To Accept The Things You Cannot Change The changes you experience in early recovery feel miraculous. Cravings, the longstanding chemical reactions which used to disrupt your life over and over again, are gone. Things which used to disturb you no longer do. You have a clarity you haven’t felt in years. It can be easy to start thinking you’re some kind of superhero. If you can be changed, then everyone else can,too. If everyone could change the way that you have, the world would be a better place. Your path to recovery and personal growth was personal and unique. The world will move at the pace it is supposed to. Unfortunately, despite your growing wisdom, that isn’t up to you. Continue Being Honest Honesty is what got you to treatment. You had to be honest with yourself about your problem with drugs and alcohol and how your life had been taken out of your control. The honesty doesn’t stop there. Bringing honesty into every area of your life helps you to maintain manageability. Lies can spread quickly because the brain is programmed to attract negativity. Keep working on growing that positivity magnet inside your head. Avalon Malibu is a certified dual diagnosis treatment center providing primary residential care for both substance use and mental health disorders. For a confidential assessment and more information on our programs, call 1 (888) 958-7511 today.

America is finally focused on therapy. With the rise of life-taking addictions like the opioid epidemic, there has been a great change in the way people approach the topic of mental health. Addiction is no longer considered a character or personality problem. Today, as mandated by the government, it is regarded as a mental health condition. Additionally, mental health disorders can no longer be discriminated against and treated differently. Parity laws have made mental health disorders as important as any other medical issue. As a result, there is a greater focus on providing more people with the mental health treatment they need, from residential rehab programs to therapy. Unfortunately, there is a severe lack of therapists and counselors available in some areas where they are needed the most. People who are in need of mental health treatment the most are also some of the most busy. The millennial generation has a great amount of responsibility and stress on their shoulders, which also contribute to their failing mental health. In contrast, their parents, the baby boomer generation, is rapidly retiring. Moving away from the work force and responsibilities which have kept them busy, they are forced to reckon with themselves. People do have circumstances which prevent them from entering treatment or committing to typical therapy treatments. In response, online counseling, online therapy, and even texting therapy has grown. Can these methods replace or be as effective as traditional therapy? Pluses Of Online Therapy

Heart damage is a little known side effect of eating disorders. After years of binging, purging, and restricting cycles, the physiological effect of eating disorders takes a toll on the heart. When someone who has lived with ongoing eating disorder issues suddenly dies of a heart attack or heart failure, their cause of death is rarely labeled with their eating disorder. As a result, heart problems remain a hidden and deadly secret for eating disorder recovery. Anorexia Nervosa Anorexia is an eating disorder with the typical traits of starvation, restriction, and extreme compensation for food. Malnutrition and the actual physical state of starvation is common for those struggling with anorexia. The heart slows down during phases of starvation and restriction to create a condition called “bradycardia”. Heart failure is a high risk for severe cases of anorexia. Bulimia Nervosa Bulimia nervosa does not rely on restriction as much as it relies on purging. Someone with bulimia will not necessarily binge. When they do, they turn to purging to relieve themselves. Through dehydrating diuretics, or exhausting vomiting, people with bulimia can turn to extreme exercise and putting stress on the heart. “Tachycardia” is a condition where fluid loss makes the heart beat faster, causing someone to faint or have heart problems. For people whose bulimia includes purging and extreme exercise, they are in a constant state of dehydration, lacking in electrolytes which can cause arrhythmia. Arrhythmia can cause cardiac arrest. Binge Eating Disorder People with poor eating habits are aware of the damage they can cause their hearts. Cholesterol problems, clogged arteries, heart stress, blood pressure, and more can result from a poor diet like binge eating disorder. Constant changes in metabolism can make the way the heart functions change, causing a heart attack. EDNOS Eating Disorders Not Otherwise Specified can also have an effect on the heart. Any extreme changes in dieting, exercise, and food consumption will affect the strength and integrity of the heart. Staying Heart Healthy Treatment programs for eating disorders are placed under careful medical care. Doctors, cardiologists, and dieticians are always on hand to help restore the body and heart to a natural state. Avalon Malibu provides primary residential treatment for eating disorder recovery. Our private chefs help create heart-healthy meals according to each client's needs, determined by their work with dieticians and nutritionists. For a confidential assessment and more information on our programs, call 1 888-958-7511.

What does borderline mean? Simply defined, a borderline is just a line marking a border. With borderline personality disorder, there is something disordered about that line. For those who have borderline and those who are the loved ones of someone with borderline, that can mean two very different things. First, there is a lack of distinction between personality types, hence lacking a borderline. Borderline and multiple personality disorder are no longer the same thing. However, people who have borderline personality disorder experience rapidly shifting mood swings, emotions, and even perspectives depending on their mood. People who live in relationships with those who have borderline personality disorder feel like they can never be sure as to what to expect next from their loved one. Second, there is typically a lack of boundaries for people with borderline. They are known to receive boundaries like a personal offense. Part of what is “disordered” about borderline is that they tend to take things deeply personally, meaning they have a difficult time discerning the point where they end and other people begin. Not understanding or being able to maintain healthy boundaries can create an immense amount of emotional pain for someone who is already living with a devastating insecurity. Unpredictable Emotions Without a clear distinction between emotional states and weak emotional regulation skills, living with borderline personality disorder can feel like walking on a minefield. How someone with borderline thinks and behaves is entirely dependent upon how they feel. Unfortunately, there is never a guarantee or prediction to how they will feel. What they can rely upon is knowing that when the emotions come, they come on intensely strong. Feeling Exhausted And Being Exhausting One of the hardest parts about living with borderline is the constant feeling of unmanageability. Though some people with borderline can have co-occurring narcissism or narcissistic traits, others are keenly aware of the effect their changing moods has on others. Especially for those they love, people with borderline feel a significant amount of guilt for their uncontrollable behaviors. Treatment And Coping Behavioral psychotherapy types like cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavioral therapy have proven to be extremely helpful for treating borderline. Giving people the tools they need to regulate their emotions, cope with emotional intensity, and create strategies for communication can be life-changing. Borderline was once considered untreatable. Today, through therapy and treatment more people are finding ways to live with their condition. Avalon Malibu is a certified mental health treatment facility providing trusted residential care to individuals with a primary diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. If you are in need of treatment and are ready to heal, call us today for a confidential assessment at 1 888-958-7511.

Eating disorders are complex and complicated mental health issues which can become life threatening without treatment. Supporting a loved one who has an issue with one of life’s necessities, food, can be challenging. Help Them Stop Talking About Weight Since weight and body image has been such a hyper-focus for so long, it might feel like a natural area of conversation to bring up when your loved one is in treatment and recovery for an eating disorder. Learning not to focus on weight and body image is something they are working very hard at. Even if they had reached dangerously low weights through anorexia nervosa and you want to comment they are looking healthier as they gain some weight- try to avoid these comments in the beginning. On the other hand, if someone had gained a dangerously high weight through an eating disorder like binge eating disorder, try not to comment on how thin they are looking. Underneath the surface of obsession regarding weight and body image are serious psychological issues they are working hard to sort out. For now, encourage them to keep working so hard in treatment. Leave The Guidance To The Therapists Getting a call from a loved one in treatment is a special yet also a frightening moment. You want to support them and help them in every way you can. Making sure those ways you chose are healthy is important. Remember, that though you are a parent, a spouse, or a dear friend, you are not a licensed professional certified in treating eating disorders. What you can do is:

30 million Americans use sleep medication. That’s a lot of people who have a hard time falling asleep. During treatment for recovery from a mental health or substance use disorder, sleep can be challenging. Living with new thoughts and feelings, dealing with physical symptoms of withdrawal, and general restlessness can all cause a difficulty falling asleep. Maladaptive behaviors before bedtime and throughout the day can make sleeping more difficult as well- like that 5 pm coffee. Here are some best tips for getting to sleep without the use of a heavy sleeping medication. It’s important to note that using sleep medication during treatment is common and often encouraged. For many people, the medication quickly becomes unnecessary and causes more drowsiness the next day than it does quality sleep.

After you transition through the various stages of treatment are complete, you’re ready to make your final transition into independent living. You’ll need to create a safe system of trusted mental health professionals to keep you working on your program of recovery. Here are the different kinds of doctors you might need to work with.